Okay, maybe I’m not fully joking at this point. (Obviously, I’m not talking about service dogs here — although the “emotional support animal” narrative has also gotten out of hand). Not all dog owners, I can hear you grumbling, and for that, I’ll give you the fact that I did once see someone bring a parrot into a restaurant. (It pooped on the floor; the owner didn’t wipe it up.) And this disruptive presence of dogs inside dining rooms, cafes, and coffee shops is, of course, not a problem unique to Williamsburg, Brooklyn, as much as I want to blame the ongoing influx of blasé tech guys and their carefree Alo-wearing, AirPods-Max-ed girlfriends with their designer doodles. One colleague of mine recalls seeing a famously cranky comedian at a California cafe, where his dogs blocked the walkway meant for servers to such an extent that he was asked to move them, lest the workers trip over their leashes. Another colleague across the country once saw a diner feeding her dog food from the plate she was also eating from. Just this weekend, I saw a post about a dog in the dining room at Nobu Malibu, inspiring spirited debate in the comments.
Yet another colleague recently went to a trendy cafe, where a dog was “fully yapping every time someone moved.” The staff quietly asked the person to leave, offering them a to-go cup. “I was kinda eh on [the cafe] until I saw this,” she said. “But now I’m kinda a stan.” As a former food-service worker — at an establishment that tried to fight the dog thing but found it such an uphill battle that we ultimately just accepted our “dog regulars” — I also understand why there isn’t better enforcement. When you don’t make very much per hour and also have to clean toilets and unload deliveries, the last thing you want to do is add a potential confrontation with a customer, especially in this age of everything being caught on video.
I’m not here to complain about health risks or the specifics of health code guidelines, though for the record, dogs are prohibited from food establishments according to the 2022 FDA Food Code, with allowances for outdoor dining areas. My problem is mostly the surge of bad dog-owner behavior in restaurants as proof of the steady erosion of our social norms around shared public spaces like restaurants, a trend that seems to be on the rise post-pandemic — nobody knows how to act anymore. To assume that everyone loves your dog and doesn’t mind its slobber where they also grab their lattes, or its nose butting into their leg while in line for a sandwich, is to show a shocking level of disregard for other people.
It’s akin to listening to TikToks on the subway with no headphones in, or blowing giant clouds of strawberry-scented vape when you know people are downwind of you on the sidewalk or stairs: It assumes public space is yours and yours alone, rendering everyone around you into an NPC who doesn’t really matter, and whose comfort and existence in the world comes second to your own. I think we owe everyone a little more, and it starts with little things like not letting restaurants turn into a dog free-for-all. “Old man yells at cloud”-mode over for now!!!
